I Had to Stop Making My Past Look Better Than It Was

I’ve Always Been a Romantic (Even With My Own Life)

I am a hopeless romantic.And not just in relationships, but in life.

I love a good daydream. I love a good memory. I love replaying moments in my head like they were scenes from my favorite movie. Sorry, not sorry, I can’t help it.

It’s like tasting your favorite meal for the first time and immediately knowing, yeah… this just changed my life. And then you spend way too much time replaying that first bite instead of enjoying what’s on your plate now.

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When Looking Back Starts Stealing From the Present

But here’s the thing I’ve been sitting with lately…

What if constantly replaying the good parts of the past is the very thing that makes you miss the present? Or worse, keeps you from walking into what’s next?

Since starting Baby Steps Club, where I’ve been focused on moving forward slowly, intentionally, and with a little more discipline, I noticed something about myself. That slower pace sometimes leaves room for nostalgia to sneak in. And not the harmless kind. The romanticized kind.

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The Parts I Remember (And the Parts I Forget)

I catch myself thinking about how I used to look when my clothes fit differently and convincing myself that those were my “golden years.” Like if I had just appreciated that body more back then, everything would’ve been perfect.

Or I’ll find myself reminiscing about a situationship, replaying the laughs, the chemistry, the potential… and debating whether I should slide back in and reopen a door that took real effort to close.

Or even money. Whew. Thinking about how I used to spend like I had it like that, telling myself, “I was doing good back then,” when in reality I was just making it work and praying nothing unexpected popped up. And listen, those memories weren’t fake. There were good moments. Real joy. Real laughter. But they weren’t the whole picture.

What I forget are the conversations I was having with myself in the mirror, picking apart my body. The nights I got stood up and pretended it didn’t hurt. The anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck and hoping my card wouldn’t decline. The survival mode I was in, even when things looked cute on the outside.

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When Nostalgia Turns Into Attachment

Somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn’t just reminiscing. I was starting to romanticize. And romanticizing the past can quietly turn into wanting to go back.

That’s when I was reminded of the story of Lot’s wife.

God was leading Lot and his family out of a city that was about to be destroyed. The instruction was clear: leave and don’t look back. But Lot’s wife did. She turned around, and the Bible says she turned into a pillar of salt.

Growing up, I always heard that story framed as disobedience. But this time, it hit me differently. I don’t think she looked back because she was rebellious.I think she looked back because she was attached. Attached to what she knew. Attached to what felt familiar. Attached to a life that may have been flawed, but was still hers.

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Comfort Isn’t Always Safety

Sometimes looking back isn’t about wanting something bad. Sometimes it’s about missing what felt comfortable. Sometimes it’s grief. Sometimes it’s fear of the unknown ahead. Sometimes it’s nostalgia dressed up as peace.

But the lesson for me was this: you can’t move forward if you keep turning around.

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Baby Steps Forward (Even When the Past Looks Better From Far Away)

For where I am right now, forward doesn’t look flashy. It looks like baby steps. It looks like discipline that’s gentle. It looks like choosing progress over comfort, even when the past is trying to convince me it was better than it actually was.

Baby Steps Club isn’t about rushing. But it also isn’t about returning to old seasons just because they look good from a distance.

I didn’t need to erase my past. I just had to stop making it prettier than it really was.

So if you find yourself missing old versions of your life, old bodies, old relationships, old mindsets, old money habits… take a breath. Appreciate the lesson. Honor the growth.

And then keep walking. Slow steps forward still count.And the future deserves your attention more than the past ever did.

Welcome to Baby Steps Club 💛