I’m Outside, Despite It All

Alexis Higgins
Apr 9
3 min read

A hand with stylish pink nails holds a set of keys featuring a fluffy blue ornament and a tag saying "WE OUTSIDE," set against a vibrant background declaring "I'M OUTSIDE DESPITE IT ALL!"

I Haven’t Been Myself… But I Figured Something Out

Let me be honest… I haven’t fully felt like myself lately. Not in a dramatic way. Just… off. You know that feeling when you’re a little more tired than usual, a little less patient, not as joyful as you normally are? Like… you’re here, but you’re not you you.

Usually, when I get like that, it passes quickly. A week goes by, my period shows up, and I’m like, okay girl… that makes sense. We good. But this time felt different. It lingered longer than I expected. I’d have moments where I felt like myself again, and I’m like “okay, we’re back!”… and then I’d dip right back down.

And for a second, I was like… what is this?

But lately, something shifted. I’ve been outside more. Moving around. Doing little things. Being around life again. And my mood? Better. Not perfect… but better.

And it hit me. Maybe nothing is actually wrong with me… maybe I just needed to get out of the house.

Choosing to Show Up Anyway

So I made a decision. I’m not waiting until I feel 100 percent to start living again. I’m going outside anyway, even if my energy is low, even if I don’t feel like it, even if I’m not my “best self.”

Because I don’t have to be my best self to still show up for my life.

That shift alone changed everything. Instead of sitting around trying to figure out what’s wrong, I’ve been focusing on what helps. Getting outside, changing my environment, letting life touch me a little again. And little by little… I feel myself coming back.

Maybe I Didn’t Need Fixing… Just Care

This made me think about a story I read about Elijah. Now I’m not about to preach, but stay with me for a second.

He had just come off a huge moment, and right after that, he crashed. He was overwhelmed, exhausted, and just over it. And what stood out to me is how God responded. Not with pressure, not with a speech. He told him to rest and eat.

That’s it.

And I had to sit with that for a second. Because sometimes we think we need to fix everything all at once. Reset our whole life. Snap back overnight. When really, we might just be tired, or overstimulated, or just in need of care.

So I had to check myself. Maybe nothing is wrong with me… maybe I just needed care.

What’s Been Helping Me

I haven’t been doing anything extreme… just being more intentional. Here’s what’s been helping me lately:

Getting out of the house, even if it’s something small
Keeping things low effort and not forcing big plans
Checking in with myself instead of judging myself
Talking to someone I trust instead of staying in my head
Letting myself rest without guilt

Nothing fancy, but it’s been working.

I Can Still Choose to Live

I think this is the biggest thing I’ve learned in this season. I don’t have to wait until everything feels perfect to enjoy my life. I can feel a little off and still go outside, still laugh, still experience something new.

That used to feel like a contradiction to me, but now it feels like balance.

I’m Outside… And I’m Staying There

I’m not looking at this season like something is wrong anymore. I see it for what it is… a reminder that I need fresh air, movement, and life outside of my routine.

And now that I know that about myself, I’m moving differently.

So yeah… I’m outside. Not perfectly, not every single day, but enough to know I’m good. And I’m staying there.

Let’s Talk

If you’ve been feeling a little off lately, I get it. But maybe you don’t need a full reset. Maybe you just need to step outside for a second.

Talk to me… what’s been helping you lately? 🤎